Billiards, Korean Style

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Almost 7000 miles away, the billiards market is booming in Korea, as recently reported by the Seoul Daily News.  About 16 percent of the population enjoys playing the sport, especially various versions of carom billiards, such as three-cushion, pocketball and sagu.1

Sang Lee, who moved from Korea to New York at the age of 33, was dubbed the “Michael Jordan of three-cushion billiards” in the ‘90s, winning 12  consecutive United States Billiard Association National Three-Cushion Championships as well as the Three-Cushion World Cup-Champion in 1993.

Other Korean players, while not yet household names, have ascended in the ranks, including “Little Devil Girl” Kim Ga-young, Kim Haeng-jik,  Jae-Ho Cho, Cha Yu-ram, and Cambodian-born Sruong Pheavy.2 Kim Kyung-roul was another up-and-coming master, until he tragically died falling out of his apartment window at the age of 34.

Given the sport’s increasing popularity and rising young stars, it’s not surprising to see a wide array of Korean movies and television shows, ranging from cartoons to reality shows to dramas, featuring billiards. Most I’ve watched; one continues to elude my grasp; all present a panoply of billiards viewing, both good and bad.

Cue

The earliest example I’ve discovered of billiards on celluloid in Korea is the 1996 drama Cue.  Incredibly little is known about the film, except that it focused on “personal and professional jealousies in the high-stakes world of competitive pool, in which a female player seeks to become champion after the long-reigning champ is defeated.” Cue is not even listed on the IMDB filmography for the movie’s lead actor Lee Deok-Hwa. If you have any information on this movie, please share with me.

Bernard – “Billiards”

Known as Backkom in its native South Korea, the South Korean-Spanish-France computer animated television Bernard series centers on a curious polar bear named Bernard, whose bumbling slapstick antics typically result in the bear being knocked unconscious or being severely injured by the end of an episode.

In the “Billiards” episode, which aired sometime between 2006 and 2012, Bernard competes in a game of nine-ball against his lizard pal Zack.  Bernard has a strong break and some modicum of talent, but he’s no match for his lacertilian opponent. His attempts to sabotage Zack’s game appear to work until Bernard slips on a discarded ball, banging his head on the side table, and falling unconscious. The episode is available to watch here.

High Kick 3: Revenge of the Short Legged – “Episode 40”

The South Korean sitcom, High Kick 3, aired from September 2011 to March 2012. In those seven months, there were 123 episodes, including “Episode 40,” in which Kang Seung Yun declares himself an unbeatable “pool genius,” a “pool god…born with a pool stick in his hand.” Unconvinced, Dr. Yoon Gye Sang, a “master of studying,” challenges Seung Yun, proffering that anyone can play pool based on understanding the science and reading the books. He avers, “A smart person who understands the equation can possibly do better with less practice.”

Their classmates choose sides and place bets, with the loser owing the winner a chicken dinner. As it turns out, Seung Yun shoots a mean game of three-cushion billiards.  Dr. Yoon, not so much.  After blabbering calculations about the average number of shots required and commenting on the “tripod grip” for maximum effect, he scratches on the first shot, and it’s all downhill from there. 

Long Inside Angle Shot

In 2014, the New York Asian Film Festival, widely revered for its showings of many first-and-only screenings of Eastern Asian and Southeast Asian cinema, premiered Long Inside Angle Shot from Korea’s Mise-en-scène Short Film Festival.

Released in 2012, the film focuses on a middle-aged woman who seemingly does nothing but watch sagu, a variant of four-ball billiards, on the television. Initially believing she does not even understand the sport, her son Tae-bong realizes this is more than a passive hobby of hers when she reveals to him she has drained his bank account to purchase a new billiards hall.  The impetus for the idea was a dream she had in which a Buddhist monk played billiards with a wooden cane.

Unfortunately, the dream didn’t include customers, and tensions mount with the pair’s increasing poverty. But, Tae-bong’s disbelief and rage is put in check after his mother challenges him to a game of sagu, and he appreciates that her TV-watching intensity is matched by her incredible billiards acumen. She not only makes a beautiful masse shot, but also the titular long inside angle shot.

The movie is available to watch below.

 

Drama Stage – “Not Played”

Lasting four seasons, Drama Stage was a South Korean weekly television program that featured ten one-act dramas per season. The first season included the 2018 episode “Not Played” about a woman in her 60s (Won Mi Kyung) who, having spent her life caring for children and housekeeping, accidentally stumbles across a part-time job at a billiard hall and discovers her talent for the sport. 

Initially apprehensive, she begins to secretly practice three-cushion billiards in the after hours, and watches tournament footage to improve her fundamentals.  When the hall’s proprietor learns of her innate skills, he trains her and encourages her to go all-in. Soon, she is competing against local sharks and, to the dismay of her husband, considering entering a tournament. 

I give a lot of originality points to the premise of this episode. Not a lot of billiards shows feature women; none star sexagenerians, though ironically the sagu-playing mother of Long Inside Angle Shot was probably pretty close in age. “Not Played” also avoids all the standard tropes of hustling, barrooms, trick shots, down-and-out players, and chooses instead to focus on an individual who discovers a newfound passion late in her life. 

Unfortunately, YouTube’s closed caption auto-translate subtitles were pretty muddled, so most of the dialogue was lost in translation. You can watch the full episode below.

Sixball

My favorite billiards film to come out of South Korea is Sixball, which was released in May 2020. This feature-length film from director Chae Ki-jun focuses on Sung-hoon (Lee Dae-han), a one-time aspiring professional billiards player whose dreams were shattered (and hand was broken) after getting cheated in a game of sixball by the gangster Mr. Yong (Hong Dal-pyo). As Sung-hoon is eventually lured back to billiards by his friend, who promises him the opportunity to make easy money betting in doubles billiards, he also finds himself with the perfect revenge opportunity, if he can survive his ultimate billiards match. 

While the plot is formulaic, Sixball works because it energetically doubles-down on certain high-octane elements, such as elegant straight rail carom billiards matches, a menacing and villainous adversary, layers of voyeurism and fetishism of women, and a riveting climactic match with one jaw-dropper of a shot.  You can read my full review here.

L.O.Λ.E STORY: INSIDE OUT – “Ready, Cue! Pocket Billiard”

Rounding out the septet is L.O.Λ.E STORY: INSIDE OUT, a new variety web series that portrays a more humble side to JR, Aron, Baekho, Minhyun, and Ren, the five members of the South Korean boy band NU’EST. 

The fifth webisode is “Ready, Cue! Pocket Billiard,” which aired in June 2021. It already has 85,000 views and more than 8,000 likes, but I found it beyond painful to watch (though I recognize I’m hardly the target demographic). In Ready, Cue!… the five musicians meet in a billiards hall. Initially they attempt to play carom billiards, but quickly give up and switch tables to play eight-ball.  However, each of the players is worse than the next, so there is an insufferable litany of misses, scratches, miscues, often replayed with sound effects. There is a twist toward the end as Minhyun starts making his shots, making the others question if he was hustling them. But, I was more concerned with how many more minutes of this series I needed to endure. You can watch the full episode here.

  1. https://www.statista.com/statistics/1049761/south-korea-billiards-participation-rate-by-age/
  2. Of course, the world’s most well-known Korean player is likely “The Black Widow” Jeanette Lee. However, she was born in Brooklyn, New York.

One More Top 10 Billiards Commercial List

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With a teeth-clenching finale, the Los Angeles Rams edged out the Cincinnati Bengals 23-20, bringing a blue-and-yellow confetti-drenched close to Super Bowl LVI. The game was truly historical, and not just because Sean McVay was the youngest coach to win the coveted trophy or quarterback Joe Burrow got sacked seven times. History was made off the field, as advertisers paid an average of $6.5 million for a 30-second spot; some spots allegedly sold for almost $7 million.[1] Maybe it’s worth it. According to Nielsen, 27%-50% of the 100 million viewers prefer the commercials to the game.

Regrettably, billiards had only a fleeting cameo this year when professional golfer Brooks Koepka put down the cue stick to pick up the bowling ball in Michelob Ultra’s “Welcome to Superior Bowl” campaign. (In comparison, billiards was a prominent player in Super Bowl XXXV during Dentyne’s CGI-heavy “Pool Hall” commercial, as well as Super Bowl XLVIII, when Bob Dylan casually played pool toward the end of Chrysler’s two-minute spot.)

Brooks Kopeka (Michelob Ultra, “Welcome to Superior Bowl”)

Billiards may have been absent from this weekend’s big game, but the sport has been a mainstay of commercials across the globe for many years, as I have shared in my previous blog posts, Top 10 Billiards Breaks and Another Top 10 Billiards Commercial List. So, as a salute to the advertising record-breakers, I present One More Top 10 Billiards Commercial List, complete with 10 billiards commercials from around-the-world that are entirely different from those cited on my other two lists. Let the Clio ceremony begin!

10. Trebor Softmints. In 1984, Jimmy White not only won the Masters snooker tournament, and the World Doubles Championships with his partner Alex Higgins, but he also starred in an advertisement for England’s famous “minty bit stronger” confectionery Trebor Softmints. In this particular commercial, “The Whirlwind” hastily clears the table on his opponent Tornado Thompson because the snooker match is the only obstacle in the way of his next Softmint.

9. Roshan. At first glance, this 2012 “Pool Hall” commercial is hardly list-worthy. It features a quintet of friends amiably and not so successfully playing snooker. But the commercial is for Roshan, the largest telecom provider in Afghanistan. That makes “Pool Table” the first Afghan artifact I have encountered showing billiards on the screen. And, it’s an impressive turnaround for the sport, given a decade before the commercial aired, snooker was banned by the Taliban.

8. Cream Silk. Shanelle Loraine is arguably the Anna Kournikova of billiards; if not for her incredible looks, nobody would be talking about her. Consider the facts: in 2010, Unilever turned to this “Billiards Champion” (!?) to market the “beauty and power” of its hair conditioner in this commercial, though her tournament earnings were just $315 that year and her position on the AZB leaderboard was 1,288. Maybe that’s why the commercial ends with a cheap-o trick shot.

7. Goldfish Epic Crunch Nacho. Like Oddjob crushing the golf ball in Goldfinger, so too does Epic Crunch Nacho, our goldfish-headed superhero, prove his strength and “powerful crunch” by interrupting a friendly pool match to crush an eight-ball with his bare hand. Created by Young & Rubicam, this 2019 “Billiards” commercial may have won over salty snack lovers, but it left billiards fans howling in protest about the poor sportsmanship, never mind the impact it had on our heroine Pretzel.

6. Rolex. Any advertisement that includes the iconic scene from The Color of Money when Paul Newman sees his reflection in the two-ball and forfeits the semifinal match is going to make this list. The fact that Rolex beautifully showcased not only this scene, but also clips from 18 other films, such as Network, Speed, Titanic, Selma, and Apocalypse Now, in its 2017 “Celebrating Cinema” commercial, is truly mesmerizing and impressive. The common denominator? All the featured characters are wearing Rolexes, many as a personal choice, rather than a PR stunt.[2] 

5. Bud Light. By my count, Budweiser has created seven commercials that prominently showcase billiards, including the Reserve Copper Lager ad mentioned further down in this list. The 1995 “Pool Table” commercial, which followed up the ground-breaking “Ladies Night” commercial from 1993, features a quartet of men, dressed as women, competing in a Ladies Night Finals of Pool to win Bud Light. As Thin Lizzy’s “The Boys are Back in Town” belts from the jukebox, the drag queens dazzle onlookers with their masse, draw, and trick shots, even if some are not fully convinced of their overall qualifications.

4. Venus and Mars. Following the success of Band on the Run, Paul McCartney and the Wings released their 1975 album, Venus and Mars, with its album cover photograph of two billiards balls depicting the nearby planets. The album reached #1 in the United States, a feat perhaps aided by a 60-second television commercial of the Wings members playing snooker, acting goofy and singing songs from the album, including the popular single “Listen to What the Man Said.” The advertisement, directed by Karel Reisz, who would later get an Oscar nomination for The French Lieutenant’s Woman, had been assumed lost, but Sir McCartney pulled it from the vaults as part of the 2014 re-release of Venus and Mars

3. Budweiser Reserve Copper Lager. Originally created for Super Bowl LIII, but then shelved so it could premier during the Oscars a few months later, the 2019 “Hold My Beer” commercial stars all-around badass Charlize Theron humiliating a series of men in various bar sports. Set to Run DMC’s “Tricky,” Theron singlehandedly – and by that, I further mean she competes with a single hand since her other hand holds a frothy Bud (as opposed to having only one hand a la her Fury Road character Furiosa) – whups her opponents in billiards, darts, and arm wrestling.

2. Lincoln Nautilus. After filming The Lincoln Lawyer in 2011, it was only natural for Matthew McConaughey to become Lincoln’s pitchman, appearing in numerous commercials for the auto manufacturer since 2014. One ad from 2019 featured McConaughey stepping away from his dinner guests to make a trick billiards shot in which the object ball weaves between other balls. The idea was that like the table shot, the Nautilus driver can keep control thanks to advanced driver aids. If you think that comparison is a stretch, you likely have good company. Fortunately, Lincoln released a subsequent two-minute ad on Facebook, this time with professional trick shot artist Steve Markle, who “demonstrates” specific aspects of Lincoln’s Co-Pilot 360 Technology (e.g., Lane Keeping System, Post Collision Braking) through a series of birds eye-viewed beautiful trick shots. Talk about pool is cool.

1. MANSCAPED Lawn Mower. Commercials don’t get more outré or laugh-out-loud than this 2021 “Pool Table” commercial, with the opening line, “We need to talk about your balls.” Over a thick jazzy bass line, the narrating snooker player asks the hard questions, such as, “Are [your balls] smooth or covered in bits of annoying fluff?” He then shows his (snooker) balls, which “glisten in the light,” while offering a modicum of hope to viewers that their balls can be similar, assuming they use the right tools (no weed-whackers, blowtorches, or cheese graters). The commercial’s final note of optimism is a potted shot, while the narrator warns us, “When it comes to balls you don’t want to muck about.” Cue the YouTube fan base.

Bottom line: if an unknown team like the Cincinnati Bengals can make it to the Super Bowl, then anything can happen during the world’s greatest gridiron game. So why not a few more billiard-themed commercials in the future and give billiards, perhaps the greatest underdog sport, a chance at stardom?

[1]      Super Bowl 2022: Soaring COVID-era ad spots a ‘sign of the times’ for brands

[2]      Rolex Went ‘Rolex Spotting’

Five Films in Fifteen Minutes

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A recent study found that the average human attention span is now just eight seconds. This is reportedly one second less than the attention span of a goldfish.1

Maybe that’s not surprising, given the rising popularity of YouTube shorts, Instagram reels, Clash videos, and of course TikTok, which has now surpassed one billion monthly active users. With only 58% of viewers committing to watching even a one-minute video in its entirety, short-form is where it’s at.2

Fortunately, film seems relatively inoculated to these trends. Average full-length movies still hover at the sub-120 minute run time, and average short films clock around 20 minutes.

Nonetheless, while I know my reading audience has an attention span far more evolved than our freshwater friend, I imagine you would not turn a cold cheek to some rapid-fire billiards movie-watching, all things considered. So, tune in – temporarily – and buckle up.  Here are Five Films in Fifteen Minutes.

Pool Pool

If you’re a fan of sketch comedy, such as the “Van Hammersly” billiards skit by Bob Odenkirk from Mr. Show, then you’ll enjoy Pool Pool. Created by the Canadian duo Adam (Brodie) & Dave (Derewlany), Pool Pool is a farcical three-minute interview from 2008 for (the unreal) Unreel Sports #11 on the new sport of aquatic billiards, aka Pool Pool. As the Lord brothers, Adam and Dave blather on about the sport, from the origins of its name (an attempt to clarify the confusion around the nomenclature of the non-aquatic game of “pool”) to its uncustomary rules (e.g., “no intentional tilting,” “no titanicing”). In swim caps and floaties, the Lord brothers also highlight the game’s decorum, such as all “profanity is submerged.” By the time you get to the Pool Sharks ‘Battle of the Brothers,’ hosted by the International World Aquatic Billiard Federation, I dare you to stop smiling.  Pool Pool is available to watch here.

Balls

While studying animation and visual effects at New York’s School of Visual Arts, Jennifer Fahey released in 2021 her short film Balls about a cocky and pretentious bar patron who is unsuccessfully practicing for an upcoming billiards tournament. His skills are obviously lacking, but the film’s humor is that the cue ball also won’t cooperate. It passes literally through the rack, rather than breaking the balls; it misses shots; and as the patron’s frustration mounts, it bounces recklessly throughout the bar on a flight path that shatters glasses, a neon sign, and eventually Grandma’s vintage lamp. Watching and documenting the pandemonium is the silent bartender, whose face contorts further with exasperation and disgust after every missed shot and accompanying grunt. The film’s coup de grâce is the bartender using a broomstick as a cue to pocket all the balls in a single shot, followed by presenting the patron with a bill for the damage that includes $15,000 of emotional distress. Balls is available to watch here.

Black Ball

In 2012, Canadian high school student Peter Lilly created the three-minute film, Black Ball, to submit to Your Film Festival, an online film festival aimed at YouTubers and backed by a-list director Ridley Scott. The movie begins on a battlefield, littered with dead bodies. We watch a lone, gas-masked soldier attempt to outfight an invisible enemy. The soldier is mortally wounded and finds himself transplanted to an underworld location where he must play Death in a game of pool. (For the record, the highly enjoyable and somewhat thematically similar anime film Death Billiards came out the following year.) Against an eerie, operatic soundtrack, the soldier and Death take turns shooting the balls, until only the black ball remains. Death pockets the ball, and our soldier dies, defeated. The film is available to watch here.

Among the Stars

At the age of 21, Michael Mike Canon created the two-plus-minute film Among the Stars.  The 2013 film pits the cue ball against the other billiards balls in a battle for the baize. There are no actors, no dialogue. There are not even cue sticks. Just balls in motion, getting pocketed to unidentified classical music. Aside from the musical choreography, it’s pretty uninteresting, and other billiards short films (e.g., Killer Cueball; A Game of Pool) have better explored this theme. Fortunately, Among the Stars did not stymie Canon’s career. Several years later, his short film When a Flame Stands Still raked in a slew of awards. Among the Stars is available to watch here.

Pool

Finally, there is the 2014 sub-three minute Belgian film Pool, directed by Oscar Westrup. Candidly, this one is a bit hard to review since it’s entirely in Dutch (with no YouTube subtitle options).  But, the plot looks fairly standard.  Two hotheads enter a bar and start threatening the waitress, asking for “the boss.” She attempts to dismiss them, but they are not budging.  The waitress’ boyfriend intervenes and challenges them to a game of pool. (I’m guessing the wager is, “If I win, you leave.”)  The hooligans play an okay game, but they’re no match for the boyfriend, who proceeds to run the table. When it looks like the boyfriend will win, the two thugs resort to violence, and are properly whupped by the boyfriend. Game over, film over, review over. Pool is available to watch here.

  1.   “You Now Have a Shorter Attention Span Than a Goldfish,” Time, May 14, 2015.
  2. Vidyard Video Benchmark Report, 2021.

Top of the Heap – “Behind the Eight Ball”

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Top of the Heap is truly the bottom of the barrel.

Granted, I only watched “Behind the Eight Ball,” the series’ third episode that aired in April, 1991.  But, there is a reason this Married… with Children spinoff only lasted seven episodes. It’s comedic dregs, sitcom sludge, the sort of show even a laugh track finds humorless.

Top of the Heap focuses on the attempts of Charlie Verducci (Joseph Bologna) and his son Vinnie (Matt LeBlanc)—to get rich. Charlie’s “master plan” is for Vinnie to marry into a wealthy family; to this end, the father-son duo tries to break into high society, which includes Vinnie getting a job at a country club and Charlie pining for the club’s manager Alixandra Stone (Rita Moreno).

(How Mr. LeBlanc ever rebounded from this dumpster fire to join the cast of Friends three years later and ultimately earn $1 million per episode defies explanation.)

In “Behind the Eight Ball,” Charlie is concerned that Alixandra may have eyes for Warren Prado, a wealthy new club member, so Charlie tries to hustle him in a game of nineball.  However, after witnessing someone call the man “Godfather” and kiss his hand, he quickly starts to backpedal, fearing for his life and “spelling help in [his] underwear.”

The acting is robotic, and the jokes are cringeworthy, but there are few highlights worth mentioning. Joey Lauren Adams plays Vinnie’s high school-aged neighbor (two years before her first major role in Dazed and Confused); Christina Applegate, reprising her Kelly Bundy role, appears for continuity’s sake; and two former Playboy models, Heather Parkhurst and a 24-year-old Pamela Anderson, show up to… show off. There are also two enjoyable trick shots, including one that entails hitting five balls into four pockets with one shot.

But it’s hard to muster a smile amidst the egregious billiards inaccuracies, such as when the cue ball is ricocheted into a nearby aquarium and then miraculously appears on the table in the next shot. Or, in a game of nine-ball, when Charlie’s opponent sinks the nine with the cue, while leaving the two on the table (?!).

William Finnegan, The “Godfather of Pool”

It’s hardly a spoiler, but Mr. Prado turns out not to be that kind of godfather, but rather just some bub’s male sponsor. Of course, this got me thinking: what is the relation between billiards and criminal godfathers? Or, even better, between billiards and The Godfather? 

For starters, several players have adopted the nickname “The Godfather,” including Taiwan’s Zhuang Zhiyuan and the Phillipines’ Aristeo “Putch” Puyat. Readers of my blog may also recall Steinway-Café Billiards regular William Finnegan, the self-proclaimed “Godfather of Pool,” who has appeared in multiple billiards reality shows, including The Hustlers, the “Emily” episode of In A Man’s World, and Kiss of Death.

Though none of these individuals appear connected to the mafia, the game of billiards has on occasion been associated with illegal activity, specifically gambling.  So much so that in the 1920s, the Illinois Billiards Association was committed to keeping crime and booze out of billiards halls, as part of their “clean billiards crusade.” And before Johnny Torrio built the Chicago Outfit and turned loose his protégé Al Capone, he got his start in crime by opening a local pool hall in New York, where he ran an illegal gambling operation.  More recently, Gerald Huber recounts many “war stories” of billiards, gambling, and mobsters in his autobiography The Green Felt Jungle.

Unfortunately, Mario Puzo and Francis Ford Coppola chose to ignore the underworld billiards connection in writing and directing The Godfather movies.

Andy Garcia looking bored in “The Godfather III”

While plenty of gangster films have noteworthy billiards scenes (e.g, Mean Streets; The Krays; The Departed), the only billiards scene in Mr. Coppola’s trilogy is an unmemorable dialogue in The Godfather III between Connie Corleone (Talia Shire) and her nephew Vincent (Andy Garcia), while he is playing pool. 

That’s a shame, given the iconic Hearst Estate mansion that was used in The Godfather as the home of movie producer Jack Woltz included a 32-foot-high billiards room. 

It’s not like the Corleones – or at least, the actors who played them – didn’t know how to shoot billiards.

Marlon Brando in “Viva Zapata”

Twenty years before Marlon Brando became the Don, he was playing pool off set with his Viva Zapata co-star Anthony Quinn. So too did Robert DeNiro, the younger Vito of The Godfather II. He was quite happy at the table, as seen in The Deer Hunter. 

Sonny Corleone’s gangster career may have been short-lived, but actor James Caan moved forward, picking up a cue stick one year later in Cinderella Liberty and then again – on horseback! – in Another Man, Another Chance. And, the incoming godfather, Al Pacino, makes one of the best “magic time” shots in eightball a decade later as Carlito Brigante in Carlito’s Way.

As for Fredo…poor Fredo. He wanted to be at the top of heap, but he took sides against the family and truly wound up behind the eight ball.

The “Behind the Eight Ball” episode of Top of the Heap is available to watch below on YouTube.

Billiards: More Than a Game, It’s a Game Show

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Earlier this year, English game show host Tom O’Connor sadly passed. One of the shows he hosted, though it never aired, was Pick Pockets, which paired traditional trivia with snooker and featured top players. 

Today, it’s beyond fanciful to imagine a game show dedicated to billiards. Especially in the US, no players are household names. Ask most people about billiards and they’ll stare confusedly at you. To my knowledge, Jeopardy! was the last game show to feature billiards. That was in 2014 with the elementary Pool Shots category.

But, while modern game shows have not been kind to billiards, TV game show history tells a more complicated story that echoes the rising and receding popularity of our favorite cue sport.

Ten-TwentyThe first billiards-themed game show was ABC’s Ten-Twenty, which aired in 1959 and lasted approximately 13 weeks. Conceived by billiards evangelist and promoter Frank Oliva, Ten-Twenty was intended to bring pool out of the murky pool halls. Quite the challenge as this was still two years before both the movie The Hustler popularized the sport and the brothers Jansco organized the first Johnston City Hustler Jamborees. 

Ten-Twenty pitted top players of the era, such as “Cowboy” Jimmy Moore and Irving “The Deacon” Crane, against one another in games compressed for 30-minute television watching intervals.  Though Ten-Twenty was hardly a national success, the fact it ever aired is downright impressive.

The first billiards tie-in that I could find occurred one year earlier, when World Straight Pool Champion Willie Mosconi appeared on To Tell the Truth in 1958. Mosconi subsequently appeared on I’ve Got a Secret (1962) and What’s My Line? (1962), in which celebrity panelists questioned contestants to determine their occupations. Perhaps, it was a harbinger of the future that none of the panelists successfully guessed Mosconi’s job.

Celebrity BilliardsOther billiards players similarly appeared on these celebrity panel shows, including a six-year-old Jean Balukas on I’ve Got a Secret in 1966, but the next big step in the billiards-themed medium was Minnesota Fats Hustles the Pros in 1967, followed by the more successful Celebrity Billiards with Minnesota Fats in 1968.  Fats, the quintessential showman and impresario, was the perfect host for a game show in which he entertained audiences by playing celebrities for charity. The game show ran for four seasons, and starred a who’s-who of the era’s A-listers.

But, by the early ‘70s, America’s appetite had waned. Indeed, it took 16 years before another billiards game show appeared. This time it was in the UK, where snooker was truly catching fire, as evidenced by 18 million TV viewers watching the 1985 World Snooker Championship. In 1984, the Stuart Hall hosted quiz show Pot the Question launched.  Contestants were paired up with a snooker player, and the points per question were determined by what the snooker player potted. 

Big Break - billiards game showSurprisingly, Pot the Question only lasted one season. The aforementioned Pick Pockets was the next attempt to cash in on snooker’s popularity, but that too failed.  It took a few more years before the BBC’s Big Break nailed the formula, launching by far the most popular billiards-themed game show, with 222 episodes across 11 seasons. 

Hosted by off-color comedian Jim Davidson and former snooker player John Virgo, Big Break paired three contestants with three professional snooker players in a series of rounds that combined trivia and snooker play. Many of the snooker giants of the era – e.g., Dennis Taylor, Jimmy White, Alex Higgins, Willie Thorne, and Allison Fisher — appeared on Big Break.

Beat the SharkBack in the US, billiards was back in the shadows. The sport had disappeared from game shows, with 2002 being the one outlier. That year, in the “Billiards for Gross Eats” episode of Fear Factor, contestants were given a cue ball to sink four balls in five shots. The missed balls had pictures of the gastronomic horrors they would have to eat.  In the “Beat the Shark” episode of Dog Eat Dog, a contestant competed against a billiards professional to sink four balls before he cleared two tables.  It didn’t help that the opponent was Dave “The Ginger Wizard” Pearson, who set the Guinness World Record by potting two consecutive racks of 15 pool balls in 82 seconds.

In 2005, what many hoped would provide an industry resurgence proved to be the final nail in the coffin. That game show was Ballbreakers. Executive produced by Mars Callahan, director of Poolhall Junkies, and featuring commentary by Ewa Mataya Laurance, the show consisted of contestants competing in 9-ball for a chance to win $20,000. Intended to be the “coolest pool show ever,” according to its creator, Ballbreakers was an unmitigated disaster, lasting only one season and proving there is no joy watching amateur players compete in 9-ball. 

Assuming Jeopardy! emerges from its current PR apocalypse and begin its 38th season, I have a suggestion – or more precisely, an answer — for whomever replaces Mike Richard as executive producer.  

This sport, often maligned and portrayed unfairly in popular culture, is overdue for some recognition.

Answer: What is Billiards?

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This article first appeared in BCA Insider, BCA Holiday Issue, November 1, 2021.

Unknown Life

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In popular culture, billiards is lamentably often narrowly associated with hustling, gambling, seediness and squalor.  From the earliest billiards movie, Bad Boy,  to the genre’s most recent addition, Sixball, these themes run frequent and deep. Yet, the metaphoric application of billiards can be so much broader, as its imagery and language far transcend these limited tropes.

Robert R. Craven, a professor at New Hampshire College, hit on this in his 1980 essay, “Billiards, Pool, and Snooker Terms in Everyday Use.”  He noted the sheer number of colloquialisms – e.g., behind the eightball; call the shots – that are used in general discourse, presumably by an audience that is far larger than the number who play pool. These phrases have become metaphorical, existing beyond the poolroom.

While exceptions to the rule, some movies have sidestepped these historic stereotypes to use billiards as an opportunity for the discussion of larger themes. Martin Lawrence’s exposition from Boomerang on how billiards represents our racist society is a classic and humorous example. “The white ball dominates everything…and the game is over when the white ball drives the black ball completely off the table…it’s the white man’s fear of the sexual potency of the black man’s balls.”

Across the annals of lesser-known billiards movies and short films, there are other exemplifications. The “Game of Pool” episode of The Twilight Zone (1961), as well as the anime short film Death Billiards (2013), both tackles issues of fate and mortality through an individual pool match. Toby Younis’ short film Pool and Life (2011) uses the game of pool as a metaphor for overcoming the obstacles that life places in front of you. Louis-Jack’s short film Petrichor (2020) masterfully leverages snooker to discuss mental health.

To this list, we can add the 2017 Armenian short film Unknown Life. A trailer of the movie is available here.

Directed by Rusanna Danielian, a prolific filmmaker who has directed 48 short movies since 2014 and has not yet even turned 40, Unknown Life focuses on Adam, who has something very strange occur on his 50th birthday. While he is waiting for his computer to reboot, his three strongest personality traits come to life and opt to decide his fate over a game of Russian billiards. Adam’s internal snooker match represents the critical decisions we make in life, in which there is mental arm-wrestling among the rationalist (who lives/works for the future), the worrier (who holds on to the past), and the dreamer (who wants to enjoy the present).

In a Facebook Messenger exchange, Ms. Danielian explained to me why she chose to use a snooker as metaphor.

In the film’s reality, it is only one man playing billiards against himself. But in the fantasy world, the game takes place between three of his dominant character traits…Depending on who has the better argument in their conversation…determines who] gets a ball in. That was the concept around the billiard game I came up with to show which one of his character traits “wins” the game in a metaphorical way and decides about his life on a psychological level.

Also my protagonist stands for a man who has reached a lot of success in his life, but isn’t feeling “happy.” So the pool table stands also for his status as it is something that normally only rich people have in their house. And the fact that he has all of that, but nobody next to him to share it all with, shows that striving for success is probably not the right goal in life.

To capture the intellectual battle among the personalities, Ms. Danielian effectively used a green screen to shoot Adam, played by Aleksandr Khachatryan, in the three different roles and then layered him on so he appears to be engaging with himself. (I believe this is a billiards movie first!)

Unknown Life was filmed in Armenian, though the private copy Ms. Danielian shared with me had English sub-titles. Unfortunately, the translation was a bit stilted, so some of the nuance of the dialogue was lost. Moreover, the actual snooker-playing was pretty terrible.

Nonetheless, Unknown Life is worth the watch for its creative filmmaking and simply for daring to think differently about the application of snooker and how the game can be used to unearth interesting psychological questions.

A Trio of Titans: Mosconi, Hoppe, Van Boeing

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Sports biopics are a staple of Hollywood. They run the gamut from ultra-popular sports, such as football (e.g., Remember the Titans; Invincible), basketball (e.g., Glory Road; Hoosiers), and baseball (e.g., 42; Price of the Yankees) to those far more niche, such as horse racing (e.g., Seabiscuit), surfing (e.g., Soul Surfer), and ski jumping (e.g., Eddie the Eagle).  

You guessed it. There are no billiards biopics. 

Fortunately, over the years, a variety of companies have stepped in to honor some of the greats of the sport with short documentaries.  Though these films vary considerably in production quality and entertainment value, they all deserve some praise for attempting to preserve on-screen the legends of the baize.

Years ago, I wrote about the 2013 Sky Sports Productions documentary, The Strickland Story, focused on Earl Strickland, as well as the Probe Profile on Efren Reyes.  Today, I’ll turn my attention to Willie Mosconi, Willie Hoppe, and Shane Van Boeing, each the subject of a billiard short film. Also, in a future blog post, I’ll jump across the channel and review the documentaries on snooker stars Alex Higgins (Alex Higgins: The People’s Champion) and Ali Carter (Ali Carter: The Unbreakable).

A Pete Smith Specialty: The Mosconi Story

At 1621 Vine Street, on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, there is a star honoring Pete Smith, an Oscar-winning  American producer and narrator of short subject films. Between 1931 and 1955, Mr. Smith made more than 150 movies that covered everything from household hints to insect life to military training.  The majority, however, were short comedic documentaries that he narrated.  This includes one of his final films, The Mosconi Story, about the life of perhaps the greatest pool player in history, “Mr. Pocket Billiards” William Joseph Mosconi. It is available to watch here.

Created in 1952, this 10-minute film is a reenactment of Mr. Mosconi’s life, starting when “Little Wille” would skip his violin lessons to practice billiards at Joe Mosconi’s Billiards Parlor using a sawed-off broom handle and potatoes. By age 7, Mr. Mosconi was traveling, doing exhibitions.  His career climbed quickly, eventually taking him to the Worlds Pocket Billiards Championship on six occasions.  But, he did not win any of those matches.

Most of The Mosconi Story takes places In 1941, when Mr. Mosconi opted to give it one more try.  With a child on the way, his billiards career was headed either for the “championship or the want ads.” As billiards historians know well, he made it to the finals to compete against three time world champion Andrew Ponzi, one of the “real greats of the day, the craftiest player in the game.” 

Neck and neck with Mr. Ponzi, Mr. Mosconi’s game is interrupted by a telegram telling him that his baby boy, Willie Jr., had arrived early.  That announcement gives Mr. Mosconi the confidence to attempt a five-cushion rail shot.  He makes the shot, winning 125-124, and becomes the world champion.  It was a feat he would repeat many times.

Columbia Pictures presents the Willie Hoppe Story

Released in 1954, The Willie Hoppe Story is a nine-minute mash-up of documentary and exhibition. The first 60 seconds is biographic, a whirlwind time travel from 1896, when Mr. Hoppe began playing billiards at the age of eight, to the present (1954), when a 66-year-old Mr. Hoppe starts showing off his three-cushion carom billiards skills at the world-renowned New York Athletic Club. It is available to watch here.

First, he dispatches with his opponent, New York professional billiards champion Edward Lee.  Then, he demonstrates the essentials of billiards, such as the proper grip and techniques for creating spin. Finally, he brings the real magic, showing off more than 20 eye-popping, three-cushion (or more) carom billiards shots, including a nine-cushion shot. 

Narrator Bill Stern, who thirty years later would join the inaugural class of the American Sportscasters Association Hall of Fame, can barely contain his euphoria watching the shots made by the “wizard of the cue, the king of the cushion, Willie Hoppe.”  He proclaims that Mr. Hoppe is “no professor of billiards, he’s a professor of English [spin],” and he describes one shot that navigates 25 bowling pins on the table as a “Sunday driver going to the picnic grounds.”

Shane Van Boeing – The South Dakota Kid

Given the number of billiards titles, championships and accolades accumulated by Rapid City’s Shane Van Boeing, it’s no wonder South Dakota Public Broadcasting produced this eight-minute segment in 2014 for its Dakota Life series focused on “interesting South Dakota people, places, and things.”  You can watch it here.

Mr. Van Boeing was only 31 years old in 2014, but he was already a six-time US Open champion, the 2008 doubles world champion, a two-time all around champion, a seven-time Mosconi Cup member, and the “current #1 pool player in the US.” (His accomplishments have only further proliferated in the past seven years.)

Shane Van Boeing initially takes a fairly standard approach to his life. He grew up in a pool-playing family, sitting in the baby chair watching pool and then getting his first table at age two from his grandfather. Soon he was participating in trick shot exhibitions.

But rather than continuing down memory lane and charting Mr. Van Boeing’s path to turning pro in 2006, Shane Van Boeing instead chooses to narrowly focus on his hearing impairment, with his mother, Timi Bloomberg, describing how she realized when Shane was 16 months old that he was almost totally deaf.  She describes being very careful that her son not get labeled as “handicapped,” insisting that he surrounds himself with “speaking people” to “function normal.” 

Mr. Van Boeing elaborates, saying he was bullied in school for his hearing impairment, but when he played pool, it was a different world where he didn’t have to worry about that. He says he really learned to communicate in the pool room – “this is where I got my better communication.”

Incredulously, Mr. Van Boeing says some opponents have derided his impairment as an “advantage,” indicating it’s “not fair” that he isn’t distracted by external sounds.  His retort: “put in earplugs, you’ll be just like me.”

In a wonderful closing note, he shares how he wants to be a role model for the hearing impaired. Kids can look up to him and think “I don’t have to be handicapped. I can utilize my disability to have ability in other areas.”

Siete mesas de billar francés

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The Goya Awards are Spain’s main national film awards. They are considered by many in Spain, and internationally, to be the Spanish equivalent of the Oscars. So imagine my excitement upon learning that Grace Querejeta’s 2007 film Siete mesas de billar francés (translated as Seven French Billiards Tables) received 10 Goya nominations, including two wins for Best Leading Actress (Maribel Verdú) and Best Supporting Actress (Amparo Baró).

To put that in perspective, there are 53 movies that have earned at least 10 Oscar nominations. That pantheon includes Lawrence of Arabia, The Sting, Network, Star Wars, and Braveheart, to name a handful with exactly 10 nominations. Pretty impressive company.

Among billiards movies, only two have walked the red carpet: The Hustler (nine nominations, including two wins) and twenty-five years later The Color of Money (four nominations, including one win).

This movie should have been cinematic oro. What a disappointment.

Siete mesas de billar francés feels like a telenovela, with a bunch of broken relationships and budding romances fighting for viewer attention. The movie begins with Angela (Verdú) and her son Guille traveling to the big city to see the boy’s grandfather. Upon arriving, they not only learn he has passed, but that his billiard hall, 7 Siete Mesas, with seven French tables (i.e., carom billiards tables) is now in decrepit condition and that the grandfather had a number of outstanding debts. For Angela, the bad news keeps coming, as she subsequently is confronted by the police to learn that her husband has both disappeared and has a secret second family.

Faced with a panorama of bad news, Angela decides to stay in the big city and restore the billiard hall to its former glory. This includes re-assembling the hall’s one-time billiard team — now a bunch of gruff, ornery oldsters – to compete in the upcoming tournament with a chance of winning the prize money.

Tempers flare and tensions rise, but given the movie’s melodramatic predictability, the players are able to put aside old history and reconnect. There’s even a place on team Siete Mesas for the dead father’s crotchety girlfriend. Eventually, it’s Angela who must reconcile her past and truly come to terms with her father’s death (but not before ripping a number of portraits of him off the wall and shattering them on the floor – oh my!).

Billiards enthusiasts will be equally disappointed, as Siete mesas de billar francés talks about the sport much more than it shows it. Certainly, the title sequence left me hopeful, as black-and-white photos of carom billiards players in their prime faded in and out. This was nostalgia for the game of yesteryear. But, aside from some occasional three-cushion shots, which always impress me for their perfect manipulation of the balls, the present-day game never materialized. Even the upcoming tournament never actually starts, though there is a bit of surprise as to who rounds out the team when one of the players steals the winnings and goes on the lam.

Siete mesas de billar francés is mildly entertaining, and Ms. Verdú is powerful in the lead, though not as much fun to watch as she was in Y tu mamá también or Pan’s Labyrinth. But, given its accolades, this film ultimately felt like a table scratch.

Siete mesas de billar francés is available to watch on Amazon Prime.

Pick Pockets

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I was not familiar with the English television presenter and comedian Tom O’Connor, who died from Parkinson’s about two months ago. But, an alert about his passing showed up in my news feed because in addition to hosting such popular British game shows as Crosswits, Name that Tune, and Password, he also hosted a snooker-themed game show called Pick Pockets.

What was this?

Of course, there have been snooker-themed game shows, such as Pot the Question from 1984 or the widely popular Big Break, which ran from 1991-2002, but this one had clearly eluded my research. Wikipedia lists over 500 British game shows, but there’s no mention of Pick Pockets.  Nor does it appear on the British Game Show Wiki, the website UK Game Shows, or searching the BBC. Yet, sure enough, there on YouTube, user gareth11077 had posted the pilot episode from 1988.  You can watch it here.

Fortunately, I was able to contact gareth11077, who I subsequently learned was Gareth McGinley, author of Heart Breaks: The Tony Knowles Story, and a self-described enthusiast and researcher of ‘80s snooker. Through my email exchange with him, as well as a separate email exchange with Trevor Chance, the creator of Pick Pockets (as well as the founder of Legends, Europe’s longest running live tribute show), I learned that the show I had watched was an untransmitted pilot, as the series actually never aired. The hope was to get it onto ITV, but the network’s commissioner at the time, Greg Dyke, allegedly had a particular dislike for snooker that not only left Pick Pockets homeless, but more important, signaled a “death knell of snooker on ITV, as well.”

According to Mr. Chance, Pick Pockets was inspired by a game of snooker he was playing (and was not influenced by its forbearer Pot the Question). Produced by Tyne Tees, the ITV television franchise for Northeast England, the show combined “the knowledge of our teams with the snooker skills of our guest professionals,” as Mr. O’Connor shared in his opening.

Pick Pockets had two competing teams, each pairing a local contestant with a celebrity. In the pilot episode, the celebrities were TV actor George Layton and English women’s cricket captain Rachel Heyhoe Flint. The teams, in turn, were each paired with a professional snooker player.  The episode’s two players were John Parrott, who one year later would lose the World Snooker Championship to Steve Davis, and the “Silver Fox” David Taylor, a familiar face in the ‘80s though after 1980 he never made it past the quarterfinals of the World Championship.  Completing the celebrity lineup was Len Ganley, the show’s “resident referee” and scorekeeper (who refereed four World Championships between 1983 and 1993).

(At the end of the episode, the audience is promised that next week’s episode – which was never made – would star Alex Higgins and Willie Throne, two true giants of the sport.  Oh well.)

Gameplay begins by each snooker player breaking their opponent’s rack. The 15 red balls have no value; they are obstacles to interfere with potting the colored balls and can be removed in the first round by each team correctly answering trivia questions, such as “how many toes does a rhinoceros have? (three) or “what is a jumbuck to an Australian?” (a sheep).

Once a ball is removed for each correct answer, round two begins. In this round, the players seek to pot the colored balls in order, while avoiding the remaining red balls. The pockets have different point values, and points are earned by a combination of answering a trivia question and potting the ball.  The team that has the most points advances to the third round.

In this final round, the non-celebrity contestant must answer six trivia questions. Each right answer earns his snooker-playing teammate 10 seconds to run a table consisting of the six colored balls. The player wants to leave as much time on the clock because once the table is run, the remaining time will be used to pot a single gold ball, which is worth 1000 pounds (or approximately $1700 USD in 1988).

While clearly dated through today’s viewing lens, the show was entertaining and had a certain imbued charm, principally due to Mr. O’Connor’s jovial banter. It’s a shame it never aired. Evidently, the ingredients were right, as Big Break proved only a few years later with a format that is uncannily similar to Pick Pockets.

Kiss of Death

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“There’s no such thing as bad publicity,” said PT Barnum, the mega-successful 19th century American showman and circus owner.

One has to wonder if that proverb weighed on the minds of Kiss of Death (KOD), the six-member women’s billiards team, who opted to star in Kiss of Death in 2010. The eponymous web series followed the women in the 12 weeks leading up to the May 2010 BCA Pool League National 8-Ball Championship, where they would compete in the Women’s Masters Team Division for the first time.

Presented by NYCgrind.com, a now defunct New York​-based online pool and billiards magazine, Kiss of Death was a series of weekly five-minute webisodes featuring members of the KOD team:  Alison Fischer (the editor of NYCgrind), “Queen B” Borana Andoni, Olga Gashcova, Michelle Li, Emily “The Billiard Bombshell” Duddy, and team captain Gail “g2” Glazebrook. Having won the Women’s Open Championship in 2009, KOD hoped not only history would repeat, but also that the lead-up to the tournament would make for engaging viewing.

Let’s start with the obvious: this web series was terrible.

I made it through the first four webisodes before I nodded off due to complete boredom. Judging from the number of views on YouTube, I’m probably not alone. (Episode 2 had 8,690 views. Episode 5 had just 1,737 views.) You can watch the first episode here.

Kiss of Death suffered from a fatal mix of lack of script and plot; an over-reliance on a single song for each episode; the in-your-face promotion of Poison Billiards; ridiculous montages of the women being cute for the camera; and an insufficient amount of enjoyable billiards. By episode 4, when half the time is spent watching the women watch themselves on episode 3 (oooh…how meta), I knew I would not make it through the remaining two thirds.

Apparently, the KOD women did not fare much better. The first place Women’s Masters Team prize of $3500 was won by Magoo’s Masters from Tulsa, Oklahoma.  Team Tick Tick Boom from Chicago took second, followed by team Logistically Challenge.

But, PT Barnum was onto something. While the web series was a bust, it most certainly sowed the seeds for a future wave of media and self-promotion, primarily focused on some of these same New York based female billiards players.

About 18 months after Kiss of Death, Gail Glazebrook teamed up with Jennifer “9mm” Barretta to launch Rack Starz. In partnership with Amsterdam Billiards, local home court to many of these women, Rack Starz featured a dozen “sexy intelligent women from all over the world brought together to take the game of pool out of the smoke-filled back room and into the mainstream limelight. The Rack Starz are not only athletes, but they are also moms, models, actresses, nutritionists, CEOs, and marketing analysts, with many holding advanced degrees.”[1]

The 12 members of Rack Starz featured the original six KOD members, plus Neslihan Gurel, Supadra Geronimo, Caroline Pao, Jennifer Barretta, Yomalin Feliz, and Liz Ford.

While RackStarz would fizzle out years later, the women successfully leveraged the early excitement and media attention to star in another web series, Sharks, in 2012.  This equally ill-fated series featured a number of the same women (i.e., Jennifer Barretta, Borana Andoni, Caroline Pao) portraying fictional ladies who hang out around Amsterdam Billiards.  Unfortunately, some enjoyable billiards scenes could not compensate for the series’ cheap production value, hackneyed soap opera dialogue, and paper-thin characters.

Maybe it didn’t matter.

The HustlersThree years later, two of the NYC women – Jennifer Barretta and Emily Duddy — skyrocketed past their niche web audience to that of mainstream television by starring in TruTV’s new pseudo-reality show The Hustlers about a group of pool players vying for the top spot on Steinway Billiards’ “The List.” Unfortunately, the show elicited strong reactions, many of them negative, from viewers, who found the premise and the characters preposterous.

TruTV opted not to renew The Hustlers. For a while, that decision appeared to mark the end of the NYC billiards women’s media run.

And yet, it did not.

In 2019, Emily Duddy was back, this time in the new Bravo series In a Man’s World, executive produced by Oscar winner Viola Davis.  Far more serious than any of the previous billiards incarnations, the “Emily” episode focused on exposing the sexism women experience every day through temporary gender transformation and hidden cameras. Ms. Duddy, in makeup and prosthetics, became Alex, a male pool player.  Jennifer Barretta came back on camera as friend and confidante. And the cartoonish Finnegan, most recently seen on The Hustlers, but even popping up way back when on Kiss of Death, was the uber-chauvinist who learns a thing or two about disparaging women.

I guess Kiss of Death wasn’t such a kiss of death after all.

[1]      https://www.newswire.com/news/rack-starz-launch-new-website-93762