In January 2015, for my 100th blog post, I took a “break” from blogging about billiards movies by switching my focus to “billiards breaks” – specifically, billiards commercials (breaks). The resulting blog post – The Top 10 Commercial Breaks Featuring Billiards – was not only a hoot to investigate, but also among my most popular posts.
Of course, as with any top 10 list, the moment it was released, some omissions became glaring. The more research I conducted, the more examples I surfaced that were certainly list-worthy. Rather than disassemble the old list, I instead have opted for the easy-way-out and generated Another Top 10 Billiards Commercials List, complete with 10 billiards commercials from around-the-world that are entirely different from those cited on my first list. Let the (second) countdown begin!
- Dentyne – Ice. Viewers of Super Bowl XXXV, in which the Rams decimated the Giants 34-7, may remember the CGI-heavy “Pool Hall” billiards commercial from Dentyne. With both a 15- and 30-second version, the 2001 advertisement features a sexy woman approaching a sexy man, who is playing pool. The mid-riff baring vixen pops a piece of Ice gum into her mouth, right before kissing the guy. Their arctic breath subsequently freezes over the table, and his shot literally shatters the 13-ball into an explosion of billiards fragments. Learn more about the special effects here.
- Nerf Pool. Who could have predicted in 1969 when Reyn Guyer first invented the NERF ball that 15 years later it would become a critical component of Parker Brothers’ Nerf Pool household game? In this 30-second billiards commercial, presumably from 1984-1985, a grandfather and his grandson convert the kitchen table into a Nerf Pool table by assembling the four pockets with the elastic sidewall strips. Then it’s time for billiards action, as there is nothing Grandpa would “rather put away” except maybe Grandma’s dessert.
- H&M – Modern Essentials. Soccer player and supermodel David Beckham continues his sponsorship for clothing retail H&M in this 2015 30-second spot, “Pool.” Directed by Marc Forster (World War Z) and powered by The Heavy’s song “What Makes a Good Man?,” this all-star uniting commercial features Mr. Beckham showcasing the jacket and sweatshirt from the new Modern Essentials collection as he plays an opponent in pool. The ultimate gravity-defying move is Mr. Beckham’s jump shot that supernaturally veers left after pocketing the 8-ball.
- Ford Explorer. To launch the new 2011 Explorer, the automotive company took to Facebook, where it created a series of promotional videos featuring celebrities answering questions about the popular SUV. In this billiards commercial, Hall of Fame pool player Jeannette Lee, addressed the question, “Do the Explorer’s second and third rows fold completely flat?,” by converting the back rows into a pool table where she broke a 9-ball rack. Though the Black Widow utters no words, her follow-up trick shot, in which she jumps the cue ball into her stiletto-heeled shoe, confirmed the SUV’s flatness. Other celebrities, such as Snoop Dogg and Brett Michaels, appears in similar Ford videos.
- Carling Beer. In 2013, the writing/direction duo, The Sniper Twins, created a wonderful billiards commercial (“Trick Shot”) in which a bar patron attempts a jaw-dropping trick shot that includes fireworks, elaborate ramps, and an eight-ball jumping a bridge in a toy convertible before sailing through a ring of fire. The eight-ball lands in the designated side pocket, but the cheers are muted after the cue ball falls moments later. The scratch prompts the patron’s partner to exclaim, “It’s good…but it’s not quite Carling good.” (Note: Carling has been a patron saint of billiards commercials since the early 1980s, when it featured snooker legends John Spencer and Terry Griffiths in its famous advertisement.)
- Jack in the Box – Spicy Nacho Chicken Sandwich. Jack Box may just be your average joe with an overgrown round white head, blue dot eyes and a black pointy nose, but as evidenced in the 2015 “Pool Hall” commercial, produced by the Struck ad agency, he shoots a mean game of 9-ball. As narrated by a regular at a dive bar, Jack approached the table, made “the shot” (i.e., nine balls on the break in an awesome trick shot), and appeased his stunned opponent with a Spicy Nacho Chicken Sandwich.
- Guinness. On my original Top 10 list, the Guinness “Table” ad took the #3 spot for its rather revisionist interpretation of how pool tables came to have pockets. As I have since learned, “Table” was part of a billiards commercial trinity. The other two pool history ads – tied here – are “Cue” and “Felt.” Both of the 2007 commercials provide a similarly comical interpretation of how certain billiards indispensables fortuitously made their way into the game. Thank god for that local chimney sweep who “extended a helping hand.”
- Budweiser. Like peanut butter and jelly, Budweiser and billiards were made to best friends. The beer behemoth earned the #7 spot in my previous list with their 1999 “Skunky Beer” commercial. But, I evidently and egregiously overlooked two fantastic billiards commercials from overseas that now tie for the bronze.
In “Giant Pool Table,” the agency DDB UK gorgeously shows curious onlookers spying massive billiards balls littered across city streets. Propelled by the song “Brakes On” by Air, the action moves to the top of a Los Angeles skyscraper, where it becomes clear that a giant game of pool is being played, complete with the multi-person chalking of a cue and shooting of an 8-ball through a corner pocket. The 90-second ad launched across the UK and Ireland in late 2010.
In the 2011 billiards commercial “PoolBall,” the Argentinian division of Oglivy addressed the age-old conundrum that “soccer and nightlife are worlds apart” by combining the two into the unique sport of PoolBall. Played on a seven-meter long pool table, the sport has the “same pool rules” and the “same soccer fantasies,” with “more than 280 players each night.” The two-minute spot includes all the essentials: rabid soccer fans, hot women, fancy soccer moves (e.g., The Moccasin Effect), and, of course, lots of beer (“Fridge Included”).
- VIP Frenchie. In India, there exists the unfortunate habit of men adjusting their underwear in public. In this brilliant 90-second “IPBL” (Indian Pocket Billiards League) campaign from 2015, the innovative underwear manufacturer pokes fun at this male ritual with a voiceover that not only satirizes Indian men scratching in public, but also gives fame to the not-so-clandestine gestures by naming them, such as “the pant whisperer,” “the juggler,” “the double-de-clutch,” and “the centerfold.” While a quintet of IPBL players are lauded for their patented moves, the end joke is that the comfort of Frenchie, which eliminates the “scratch and itch,” disqualifies people from playing in the IPBL.
- Miller Lite Beer. World pool champion Steve Mizerak made billiards advertising history in 1978 with his famous “just showing off” trick shot commercial that earned the top spot on my original top 10 list. In the 1980 follow-up commercial, one of many that was part of the “Tastes great. Less Filling” campaign era, the Miz competes against a who’s-who of iconic figures, including Bubba Smith, Rodney Dangerfield, and Mickey Spillane, before running the table on them. The secret to his success? “Practice, practice, practice.”
So, there’s my Top 10 list, which combined with my earlier Top 10 list, should really be combined into a Top 20 list. And even then, the list would omit such enjoyable commercials as the 2004 Hanes advertisement which featured Michael Jordan and Matthew Perry playing pool, or the 1999 Hitachi Rotary Shaver ad from Japan that used a pool table to show the closeness of the razor’s shave.
The evidence would seem to support that billiards can be used to sell lots of products, whether beer, underwear, fast food, or cars. Now, if only it would help sell the actual sport and make it a little more lucrative for all those who play professionally.
