Category Archives: Billiards Movies

The Billiards movies category is about movies that prominently feature billiards or that have plots focusing on billiards.

Ride the 9 (in production)

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After experiencing a significant dry spell, billiards movies and television series are poised to make a resounding comeback, starting in 2015. Just last week, the Twitterverse lit up like a glowstick with the announcement that the anime short film Death Billiards would be released in 2015 as a TV anime series entitled Death Parade. David Barroso has been working feverishly to bring his billiards crime drama 8-Ball to the film festival circuit in 2015. Documentarian Angel Levine is aiming to bring her seven-year film opus, Raising the Hustler, to Sundance in 2015. And, across the ocean, director Oliver Crocker is hoping his new snooker film, Extended Rest, will hit screens in 2015.

Best of all, for billiards cinephiles, it might be an extended honeymoon. In 2016, pool movie-lovers should brace themselves for the fingers-crossed release of Ride the 9, a hardcore billiards film from director/producer Blake West and actor/executive producer Jordan Marder. Many may remember first hearing about Ride the 9 back in 2011, when the film’s two-minute teaser, complete with killer soundtrack, gritty New Orleans set locations, and jaw-dropping trick shots courtesy of Florian “Venom” Kohler, first made the YouTube rounds.

Billiards fans were salivating everywhere, posting comments that were some variation of the following: “OMG, I would watch this in a heartbeat.” For the next two years, aficionados regularly monitored the film’s preproduction. But, starting July 2013, the film’s principals became relatively radio-silent, and it looked like Ride the 9 could become “the great film that never was.”

Ride the 9Well, thank the pool gods, Mr. West and Mr. Marder are back, with a passion, commitment, improved story, and better financing to help Ride the 9 crash-land onto the silver screen. I had the pleasure of interviewing Mr. West and Mr. Marder a few weeks ago, and am now 10 times more jazzed for the film’s eventual release.

For starters, these guys – especially Mr. Marder – have pool in the blood. Proving the suggestive power of the medium of film, Mr. Marder was first introduced to pool around the age of 14 by watching The Color of Money and The Hustler, which then led him to spend the next decade lurking in Bronx pool halls, where he “challenged every guy in 9-ball…and lost constantly.” Eventually, he got “sucked into pool” and experienced enough “sketchy situations” to have the resolve not to make Ride the 9 about the underbelly of billiards, but rather about the sport’s heroics.

According to Mr. West, the exact origin for Ride the 9 was a pool game five years ago in New Orleans at Le Bon Temps Roule. (Author’s Note: this is the same Magazine Street watering hole where I honed my pool game for many years. Thumbs up.) “I had just safetied Jordan, when he did an incredible masse shot to sink the 8 ball. Seeing he was such a good player, we decided we needed to do a pool movie,” explained Mr. West.

The basic story of Ride the 9 is that Ethan (Jordan Marder), a pool hustling prodigy who mysteriously disappeared a decade ago, suddenly shows up in New Orleans seeking redemption, only to find an insidious sociopath hell bent on revenge. The title refers to the lingo used in 9-ball when a player goes for the high-risk, high-reward shot of caroming a ball into the 9-ball for a win, rather than trying to run the balls in low-to-high sequential order. Thus, “riding the nine” can be associated with desperation. Or, as Mr. Marder explains, “Riding the nine is about taking chances…learning to go for it without being reckless. That’s the lesson of the film.”

Ride the 9But, the reason behind my titillation is less the story, and more the intersection of three core elements at the heart of great billiards movies: the billiards-playing, the locale, and the music.

Mr. Marder assured me that audiences will see as much pool-playing in Ride the 9 as they saw in The Color of Money. (In other words, a helluva lot pool!) Though the film is “not about pool, pool is integral to the story…it’s the glue.” That’s one of the reasons he reached out early to Florian Kohler. The innovative trick shot legend was happy to help by doubling as Ethan for some key shots. Though Mr. Kohler won’t have a big role in the film, he will be involved in the final tournament sequence, and hopefully will serve as a technical advisor, as well. Other pool players will also make cameos, though none are yet booked, as the film will be “a nod to people who know pool,” according to Mr. West. Added Mr. Marder, “I don’t want any pool player to say that’s not right. We want real authenticity.”

As the idea for the film was birthed in New Orleans, Mr. Marder and Mr. West have decided to film the rest of the movie in the Crescent City, too (and even have named one of their characters Big Easy). This makes it only the second billiards movie in the last 35 years, behind The Baltimore Bullet, a terribly made billiards movie with a high profile cast, to use New Orleans as a primary venue. According to Mr. West, the “story was born there. New Orleans has the gritty feeling we’re going for. Its soul is from New Orleans.” (Ironically, though, the bulk of the pool sequences were shot at Buffalo Billiards in Metairie, the suburban, antiseptic neighbor to New Orleans.)

Ride the 9And then there is the music. Mr. Marder has said that using great music is critical for the movie. If the use of “Young Men Dead” by the Black Angels, a psychedelic rock band from Austin, in the teaser is any indication, then we should expect a film propelled by an explosive soundtrack.

Still, 2016 is a long way away, and the duo are candid that while they have generated some significant equity to produce a film with a $1-2million budget, and not some “super indy film,” there are still a lot of things that have to go right. As Mr. Marder shared, “our dream scenario is to be in pre-production in early 2015, shooting late spring and early summer, then the joy of post-production, [in order for the]movie to be distributed in mid-2016.”

That’s our dream as well.

To stay engaged in the progress of Ride the 9, you can go to the film’s website or follow Jordan Marder (@jordansmarder) and Blake West (@blakewest) on Twitter.

Top 10 Billiards Brawls

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What is it about a pool hall that seems to instigate unbridled paroxysms of rage, extended periods of bedlam, and brutal bouts of barbarity, at least in the imaginations of filmmakers, screenwriters and producers?

Billiards Brawls

Scene from Gangster High (2006)

In their defense, the linkage is not totally unfounded. In a five-year study done by the Research Institute on Addictions at the State University of New York at Buffalo, the researchers found that “bar characteristics that are related to the occurrence of violence included: smokiness, noise, temperature, dirt, darkness, crowding, poor ventilation, the presence of competitive games (e.g., darts, pool), bouncers, and more male than female employees.”[1] On the other hand, a more recent study from 2012 revealed that among the “hot spots” for barroom aggression, the pool-playing area accounted for just 4% of the incidents of violence, as opposed to on or near the dance floor (31%), at the bar (16%), or at tables (13%).[2]

Yes, there’s a scintilla of veracity underlying the pool hall free-for-all, but it’s hardly significant enough to warrant all the attention it generates on the silver screen. Nonetheless, movies abound with pool hall pandemonium. Perhaps, it’s the butcherly utility embodied in a cue stick, 59 inches of tapered wood, that can be used to whack, jab, puncture, impale, skewer, bonk or bludgeon. Or, maybe it’s the spherical perfection of a billiards ball, hardened with a phenolic resin, that invite the amateur pugilist to wield it for all sorts of sanguinary purposes.

In any event, if there’s a pool table in a movie (especially one that is otherwise not about billiards), it’s likely going to be ground zero for some kind of mayhem and melee. Thus, I present the TOP 10 BILLIARDS BRAWLS of all time. Let the countdown begin:

10. Out for Justice.   In this 1991 thriller, Steven Seagal plays a Brooklyn cop hell-bent on revenge after his best friend is murdered. Part of tracking down the killer involves frequenting a pool hall where the local patrons are not forthcoming with essential information.   This prompts Seagal to unleash the whup-ass, starting with a towel-wrapped cue ball, followed by some (cue) stick fighting and a pool table judo takedown.

9. Velvet Smooth. The blaxploitation era of the 1970s produced many landmark films and iconic characters, including Superfly, Coffy, and Shaft. But, Velvet Smooth (played by Johnnie Hill) would not even crack the top 100. This 1976 low-budget dud has some of the worst choreographed fighting to appear in Technicolor. And while the billiards scene is so (unintentionally) bad, it earns a place on my list as one of the few movies to feature a woman meting out a cue stick drubbing.

8. Ninja Holocaust. This little-known, questionably-named, 1985 Hong Kong martial arts spectacle is likely light on plot, dialogue and other film-making indispensables. Still, the brawl that occurs around a snooker table is notable not only for the rapid-fire dispensing of the combatants, but also for the innovative use of a snooker ball as a temporary gag that is ultimately swallowed (?!) right before the ingestor is impaled on the taxidermied horns of some unfortunate ungulate.

7. Dead Presidents. The Hughes Brothers’ 1995 follow-up to their inaugural landmark film Menace II Society didn’t win favor with critics, but the pool hall scene, backed by James Brown’s “The Payback,” has all the visceral wallop of its predecessor. Anthony (Larenz Tate) and Cowboy (Terrence Howard) play a disquieting game of 8-ball that ends with Anthony becomes uncorked and beats Cowboy bloody with a cue stick all over the floor.

6. Force: Five. This 1981 action flick stars Chuck Norris BFF Richard Norton as a martial artist leading a team of martial artists on a rescue mission to save a senator’s daughter. After defeating an opponent in 8-ball, Norton quickly goes Australian-nutso when it appears his opponent will welch on a bet. Like Johnny Boy in Mean Streets, Norton uses the pool table as his playground for round kicking opponents and even makes smart use of a billiards rack to disarm an attacking cue-sticker. How Norton could shoot stick with that throwing star dangling from his neck I’ll never know.

5. The Krays. In the 1960s, Ronald and Reggie Kray were twin crime lords of London. The story of these underworld kingpins was brought to life in this 1990 biopic, starring real-life twins Gary and Martin Kemp. Known for ruthless acts of violence and intimidation, the Krays turned a snooker hall blood-red with their cutlasses in the graphically memorable “Say Thank You” scene.

4. Mean Streets.   Martin Scorsese’s iconic 1973 masterpiece about the daily violence of living on the streets of Little Italy should be mandatory viewing, ‘nuff said. That said, the ruckus that ensues when Johnny Boy (Robert DeNiro) insults the pool hall proprietor is cinematic, hand-held, perfection, with a single camera darting among the pool tables as they become props in a feral, claustrophobic fight sequence that includes Johnny Boy hopping mad onto a table, waving off his attackers with kicks and cue stick. The full scene, choreographed over the Marvelettes’ “Please Mr. Postman,” is available to watch below.

3. Rush Hour. In 1998, Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan starred as a pair of ill-matched cops, and in the process, launched a film series that collectively grossed about $850 million. In the original installment, Jackie Chan, a stranger to American culture and argot, begins a pool hall conversation with four poorly-chosen words, “What’s up, my nigga?,” thereby igniting a billiards ruction, complete with all the signature Jackie Chan acrobatics audiences love. Hopping over and under tables, parrying with cue sticks, clubbing with cue balls, this scene has it all.

2. Gangster High (original title: Pongryeok-sseokeul). Clocking in at more than seven minutes, the pool hall massacre in this 2006 South Korean film pivots from the hyperkinetic, with cue sticks clashing and feet flying, to the near balletic, with one man avenging his fallen comrade through a gruesome series of pool stick maneuvers. Heightening both the beauty and the tension is the switch to black-and-white, while Mahalia Jackson’s gospel spiritual, “Trouble of the World,” plays over the scene.

1. Carlito’s Way. “It’s magic time. After you see this shot, you’re going to give up your religious beliefs,” says Carlito (Al Pacino) in Brian De Palma’s award-winning 1993 crime drama. Pretending to set up one of his “famous trick shots,” Carlito uses the mirrored sunglasses of his opponent to see the gunman behind him, while he rockets a billiard ball, perched atop a cue chalk, into his opponent’s face. Now that’s a pool hall fight scene and getaway to remember!

So, there’s my Top 10 list of Billiards Brawls. Of course, there are a number of great pool halls skirmishes that didn’t make the list, but are nonetheless worthy of honorable mention, including Hard to Kill (1990), Boondock Saints (1999), Black Dynamite (2009), Trainspotting (1996), Code of Silence (1985), Die Bad (2000, South Korea), and Road House (1989). See a scene that should have made the cut? Let me know what movie would be on your Top 10. Otherwise, stay safe. You never know what might happen to you in a pool hall.

 

[1]       http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/918856-federal-study-bar-fights-tend-happen-darker-dirtier-bars-frequented-heavy

[2]       Graham K, Bernards S, Osgood DW, Wells S. ‘Hotspots’ for aggression in licensed drinking venues. Drug Alcohol Rev 2012;31:377–384

There Are No Thieves in This Village

When Poolhall Junkies premiered in 2002, I remember thinking, “Damn! That’s an incredible roster of talent for a billiards movie.” The film starred two former Oscar winners – Rod Steiger (In the Heat of the Night) and Christopher Walken (The Deeer Hunter), as well the incredible Oscar-nominated Chazz Palminteri (Bullets Over Broadway). My excitement was understandably a wee more muted about the casting of Ricky Schroder.

There Are No Thieves in This VillageBut, if one really wants to experience the who’s-who, one-two wallop of billiards movie casting, then the film to start with is There Are No Thieves in this Village (original title: En este pueblo no hay ladrones), a 1965 Mexican movie about how an impoverished community responds when three billiards balls are stolen from a local saloon.

Created in response to the Mexican STPC film union’s “First Experimental Film Contest,” a competition designed to rejuvenate the struggling Mexican film industry, There Are No Thieves in this Village was the directorial debut (and second prize winner) of Alberto Isaac. The movie is available to watch in its entirety here, but note it is in Spanish and without subtitles.

Shot in black-and-white with minimal budget in only three weeks in Mexico City and Cuautla, the film features a pantheon of modern-day Mexican art and culture intelligentsia. For starters, the movie is based on the identically-named short story written by the hitherto unknown, future Nobel Prize in Literature winning author Gabriel García Márquez, who subsequently had 30 movies made from his stories and novels, including Love in the Time of Cholera.   Marquez also appears in There Are No Thieves in this Village, making it the first of only two cinematic appearances in his career.

Also appearing in the film as a local priest is the Spanish filmmaker Luis Buñuel, who the New York Times referred to in his obituary as “a leader of avant-garde surrealism in his youth and a dominant international movie director half a century later.” Six of his films are listed in Sight & Sound’s 2012 critic’s poll of the 250 films of all time, and three of his films (Tristana; The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie; and That Obscure Object of Desire) have been nominated for Oscars.

Others in the movie include: film director Arturo Ripstein, who won the prestigious National Prize for Arts and Sciences; artist and iconoclast José Luis Cuevas; esteemed author Juan Rulfo; Surrealist painter Leonora Carrington; cartoonists Ernesto García Cabral and Abel Quezada; and critic and journalist Carlos Monsivaís. All of these future cultural leaders were part of a tight circle of friends kept by director Issac and writer (and future film critic) García Riera.

There Are No Thieves in This VillageIt is debatable whether There Are No Thieves in this Village is truly a “billiards movie,” as the only billiards in the film occurs in the opening sequence of three-cushion billiards. (For more on this billiards variant, check out the 2005 film Carambola.) In this sense, it is more akin to the 1991 Swedish film A Paradise Without Billiards, which depicts an immigrant’s life in a community that does not play billiards.

There Are No Thieves in This VillageIn There Are No Thieves in this Village, it is the absence of the balls, resulting from an act of larceny committed by the dim-witted troublemaker Damaso, that causes a community to unravel. Initially, the local denizens find themselves rudderless and without activity. That idleness turns to racist aggression when the community identifies a black man as the culprit of the crime. Damaso, showing no regret or concern for his actions, sits back like a passive spectator, as the black man is first beaten and later sent to sea for his crimes. In fact Damaso, who only took the billiards balls when his felonious efforts turned up no other booty, subsequently even toys with the idea of forming a gang and stealing additional balls as a money-making scheme. It is only when his pregnant wife can no longer contain her guilt by affiliation that Damaso reluctantly attempts to return the billiards balls.1

Watching the movie today, I’d say There Are No Thieves in this Village represents a watershed moment in Mexican film casting (and certainly in billiards movie casting), though the actual film is just of passing interest. I think this one reviewer said it best:

“Every time that I see this movie the result is the same, what were the conditions of the epoch to see such an incredible cast of characters. I haven’t seen another movie with so many artists, at least as important as the artists that appear in this movie… If someone is interested in Mexican culture at that time this film is absolutely a must.”

Thus, as an end to this post, and as a final postscript, let us say R.I.P. to Gabriel García Márquez, who passed away earlier this year in April.

1       My summary may be slightly inaccurate given both the movie and the short story were in Spanish.

Shooting Gallery

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Talk about a monte that is just plain jecka. Like sugar, honey, iced, tea. Are you smelling what I’m stepping in?

Actually, I hope you don’t step in it. I hope you run from it.

Shooting GalleryBecause this sort of exaggerated slang is just one of the many problems with the 2005 straight-to-video billiards movie Shooting Gallery (aka Poolhall Prophets). Aspiring to be some mash-up between The Hustler and The Sting, Shooting Gallery tries to generate credibility by overindulging in the argot of pool hustlers and con artists. But, 30% of the lingo is made-up (according to the special feature), and the remaining 70% is so forced, it feels like the director/writer Keoni Waxman was double-dared to make every fifth word some form of billiards slang. Even worse, Waxman lacks the confidence to let the script breathe meaning into the words, and instead resorts to a cheap bit of opening credit hokum by literally showing translations of the jargon (e.g., “on the lemon” = playing bad on purpose; “shortstop” = local player; “cecil” = $100; etc.).

If the pool patois were the only problem in Shooting Gallery, maybe the monte (= movie) would be passable. Unfortunately, the entire 102 minutes is mos def (= most definitely) jecka ( = terrible). Behind the horrible dialogue is nonsensical story about Jericho Hudson (Freddie Prinze Jr, whose acting in this film makes Keanu Reeves appear Oscar-worthy), a street-smart pool player, who falls in with the Tribe, a New Orleans gaggle of hustlers, led by Cue Ball Carl Bridgers (Ving Rhames), a chicken-foot sucking, 8-ball cane-wielding kingpin. Each Tribe member is tattooed with an 8-ball, which makes beaucoup (= lots of) sense, given they are supposed to be incognito 9-ball hustlers.

Jericho quickly rises through the ranks of the Tribe; his success driven by his gift for hustling 9-ball and his ability to say with a straight face craptacular (= awful) dialogue, such as, “I was a hustler with a goal, which would make either happy or dead.” His one weakness seems to be Jezebel Black (Roselyn Sanchez), who “looked like two scoops of ice cream on a warm summer day.” (So that means what exactly…?)

Shooting Gallery.v2Jericho gets himself into some trouble when he tries to hustle on the side. Jezebel gets herself into some trouble when she can’t pay off her gambling debts to ex-NFL great Bill Romanowksi. People keep getting hustled at the Shooting Gallery, a billiards hall run by Cue Ball Carl and widely and illogically known as a hustler’s paradise. A corrupt cop shows up with a need to set up a 9-ball game against Cue Ball Carl so he can retrieve a video cassette, the maguffin of the film. A coked-up crackshot named Tenderloin Tony appears, but is then killed. Some pool is played, but not that much. More idiotic dialogue is sputtered (“If I’m lying, I’m dying. – Jericho Hudson).

None of this make a lick of sense. Shooting Gallery plays like a string of two-bit hustling clichés strung together by poor acting and middle school dialogue. As I said at the start, this film is sugar, honey, iced, tea (= S.H.I.T.).

Shooting Gallery is widely available to rent or purchase online.

Extended Rest (in production)

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A guy walks into a snooker club. He sees two elderly gentlemen at a nearby table. One of the men is partially sighted, the other largely deaf.

Extended RestIf you’re waiting for the punch line, this is no joke. Quite the contrary, this was part of the impetus behind Oliver Crocker’s decision to make Extended Rest, a new snooker film currently in production, which tells the story of a retired professional player, who tries to make a comeback in his sixties.

It’s been almost 30 years since the British “snooker movie boom,” which included the deplorable Number One (1984), the campy musical Billy Kid and the Green Baize Vampire (1985), and the laudable BBC series Give Us a Break (1983). Since that heyday, some snooker short films (e.g., Snooker (2000)) and the Big Break game show have surfaced, and Hong Kong entered the market with the movie Legend of the Dragon (1991) featuring Jimmy White, and the television series The King of Snooker (2009), but it’s otherwise been a barren cinematic wasteland for the sport of snooker.

Mr. Crocker seeks to change that with Extended Rest, starring Tony Osoba (from the BBC sitcom Porridge, as well as Give Us a Break) as Terry “the Grenade” Kincaid, who returns to the green baize after the death of his wife. Though a lengthy email exchange, Mr. Crocker opened up to me about the origins of the movie, his personal connections to snooker, his good fortune to cast snooker legend Neal Foulds, and his timeline for getting the film in front of audiences. The following are excerpts from that exchange:

Why did you decide to make this movie?

Extended Rest

Tony Osoba practicing

“I’ve wanted to make a snooker movie for about 10 years… [Tony Osoba and I] play at the Twickenham Club and we mused to the owners the idea of making a film there and they have been terrific support, out of this world… When you think of some of the all-time great snooker matches, they often play out like a movie script…People are easy to criticize snooker, calling it boring. I think they’re barmy, it’s drama and skill of the highest order.”

What is your personal connection to snooker?

“I’ve watched snooker with my Dad all of my life, both on the telly and live at The Crucible and Wembley…We had a miniature table at home and he would play me as soon as he got home from work, as long as I’d done all my homework. I used to play both of my Grandads too, treasured memories… [I also] have many happy memories at school of playing snooker with my friends.

I was lucky enough to interview both Ali Carter and Jimmy White for the “This Morning” program on ITV (my day job) for our Male Cancer Awareness Week. I’ve interviewed Tom Cruise, Madonna, Jason Statham… but trust me, I was more nervous and excited about meeting Jimmy and Ali – and they were both absolute gentlemen, really good fun, generous with their time and I got to film them both practice, which was a thrill. So snooker is a massive part of my life and I’m grateful for it.”

How much snooker should viewers expect to see?

“There are four matches and a healthy amount of practice sessions. Tony Osoba has been working very hard on his practice. Tony plays every shot in the film himself. We’ve got some great out-takes along the way too. “

How did you get Neal Foulds, who once was the third best snooker player in the world, to appear in Extended Rest?

Extended Rest

Oliver Crocker and Neal Foulds

“Tony Osoba and Shirin Taylor (our leading lady) had met working on the BBC’s snooker series Give Us a Break. The snooker coach on this series was Geoff Foulds, Neal’s Dad, who taught Tony how to play snooker, the right stance etc. So I tweeted Neal Foulds one day to tell him about the film. Neal recalled meeting Tony during the filming of Give Us a Break and said that Extended Rest sounded fun. So I asked him if he would consider making a cameo. I sent him the opening twenty minutes of the film, where there is a climactic battle on the baize between Terry Kincaid and Alec Slater. Because this is Terry’s first match against an opponent since retiring, in his head he returns to his glory days of walking out to the sound of applause, after an introduction from an MC and then during the match, he imagines hearing commentary from Foulds.

Neal agreed, and he came down to ITV, where I work, and recorded his commentary. We chatted for ages before we recorded, he is such a friendly guy, great sense of humor and he seemed to like the fact that I knew my stuff about snooker. I had [even] used some of his comments from real matches in the script.”

How long do audiences have to wait until they can see Extended Rest?

“We are filming in four mini blocks…By the end of August, we’ll have filmed half of the film. The opening twenty minutes of the film is complete – all edited, graded and scored…The final filming block is scheduled for November this year, so the release will be 2015, when exactly I don’t know, but it will be exciting to find out!”

Mr. Crocker has called Extended Rest his “love letter to snooker.” Frankly, he had me when the guy walked into the snooker club. We’ve waited 30 years. We can certainly wait another 6-12 months.

To keep up with the progress of Extended Rest, follow the director (@olivercrocker) and the film (@Extended_Rest) on Twitter.

Legend of the Dragon

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Legend of the DragonIf Legend of the Dragon (Long de chuan ren) sounds more like a Bruce Lee movie than a billiards movie, that is very much intentional. The 1991 Hong Kong film, starring comedian Stephen Chow, is in many ways a paean to the martial artist, though it replaces the hand-to-hand combat with a showdown on the snooker table.

For starters, Legend of the Dragon sounds like the natural sequel to two of Bruce Lee’s most famous films, The Way of the Dragon (1972) and Enter the Dragon (1973). Stephen Chow (perhaps today better known as the director and star of the hyperkinetic comedies Kung Fu Hustle and Shaolin Soccer), plays Chow Siu-Lung, who is named after Bruce Lee Siu-Lung. (Stephen Chow is well-known for his cinematic admiration for Bruce Lee, as evidenced in this great clip comparing Bruce Lee’s Fist of Fury (1972) with Chow’s First of Fury (1991)).

Chow Siu-Lung lives in the small fishing village of Tai O, on the western side of Lantau island in Hong Kong. Much of the land is owned by his father Hung (Yuen Wah), a master of the local kung fu school and a former stunt double for Bruce Lee. While Hung wishes his son would become a disciple of martial arts, Chow is uninterested in martial arts, neglecting his studies and preferring to live simply and naively, whether that is flying kites, goofing around with his childhood friend Mao (Teresa Mo), or playing snooker.

Legend of the DragonBut, Chow’s child-like existence is disrupted when his cousin, Yan (Leung Ka-Yan) from the mainland, returns a favor to Chow’s father by agreeing to show Chow Hong Kong. The “fish out of water” scenes that follow (similar to Bruce Lee’s scenes in Return of the Dragon) showcase the dewy-eyed and under-socialized Chow mesmerized by everything from the buildings to the traffic to sight of women’s breasts (Hong Kong sex symbol Amy Yip in a cameo appearance).

Yan, who is seriously in debt to the local yakuza, has alternate intentions, however, aside from showing his cousin Chow a good time. When Yan fortuitously realizes that Chow is an amazing snooker player, he hatches a plan to bet on Chow’s games. The yakuza catch wind that Yan is stake-horsing Chow. They promise to wipe clean Yan’s debts if Yan can arrange for Hung to bet the deed to his land on a game between Chow and the yakuza’s “hired” snooker player.

The big reveal is that yakuza’s player is none other than Jimmy “The Whirlwind” White, the real six-time world snooker finalist. (Billiard movie aficionados should not be surprised at the casting of a professional pool player as the main nemesis. See Keith McCready in The Color of Money (1986) or Marcello Lotti in Io, Chiara e lo Scuro (1983) for earlier examples.)

Legend of the DragonJimmy White may look like a fish out of water in this movie, but regardless, it is billiards-nirvana to watch him on the table, and director Danny Lee gives him plenty of opportunity to show off his incredible masse, spin, and shot-making skills. (His cue-ball manipulation is jaw-dropping.) White quickly trounces Chow, who has been traumatized by the knowledge his cousin has been betting on him.

Fortunately, like many great kung fu films, there is a chance for the hero to redeem himself. In this case, it is a rematch against White in the World Snooker Challenge Cup. The snooker match is initially off to the same ill start, with Chow unable to pocket balls. But, in a deft comedic moment, Chow finds himself with the opportunity to make a truly easy, direct, corner pocket shot. Filmed in slow motion, Chow makes the shot, and his confidence returns. The snooker “combat” then becomes a shot-for-shot slugfest between two evenly matched opponents.   Of course, there must be a winner, and with a final shot that combines billiards and karate-like aerodynamics, Chow pockets the final ball, winning the match and the land back for his father.

Legend of the Dragon is available to rent or purchase on DVD.

One Too Many 8 Balls

I will concede that if I were writing or producing a billiards movie, I might consider throwing “8-Ball” or “eight ball” in the title, such as Up Against the 8-Ball or Behind the Eight Ball or even the whimsical 8 Ball Stud. After all, the eight-ball is laden with symbolism, given its inherent neutrality in the battle of solids and stripes, as well as its association with both good and bad, depending on whether it leads to someone’s victory or defeat on the billiards table.

But, to name the movie just 8-Ball? Where’s the originality in that? This is a crowded market folks, and as difficult to believe as it may be, I uncovered five billiards movies and short films called 8-Ball, as well as a couple of non-billiards movies of the same name. Welcome to a world of confusion.

8-Ball

8 Ball MovieAt the top of my watch list is the forthcoming billiards crime drama 8-Ball, starring and executive produced by David Barroso.   Mr. Barroso promises the movie will borrow elements, narration, and plot elements from Godfather Part II, GoodFellas, The Usual Suspects, and The Silence of the Lambs. According to the movie’s Twitter feed, it’s now expected to hit theaters this fall. Fortunately, this is the only full-length film with the title 8-Ball.

8 Ball

8 Ball MovieLess about billiards as sport, and more about billiards as an allegory for life, is the 2007 short film 8 Ball, directed by Inon Shampanier. As Shampanier shared with me, the larger allegory is that “like balls on a pool table, the lives of strangers collide and change course.  The film poses questions about the accidental nature of these collisions and the sense of ‘order in the chaos.’”

8 Ball

This seven-minute Australian film, shown as part of the 2012 Aurora Short Film Festival, anthropomorphizes the 8-Ball as an enlightened maverick, fleeing the confines of a pool table to explore the outside world. (“There was nothing these suckers could do to stop me.”) While the concept is interesting, the dialogue is terrible, including the encounter with a female tennis ball. A far better movie that brings pool balls to life is Pool Talk, a two-minute 2009 short film.

8 Ball

This four-minute American film, made some time in 2012 or 2013, has no dialogue, no plot, and sadly, no purpose. Directed by George Monard when he was probably 17 or 18, it features a “dangerous” pool player who is unsuccessful in his intimidation of the other players. A match ensues; he loses, so he shoots his opponent. I didn’t get it either.

8 Ball

8 Ball MovieUsing billiards as a backdrop, this four-minute American film, made a few years ago, was directed by Garrett Gutierrez, while a graduate student at the Dodge College of Film and Media Arts at Chapman University. It basically features two friends arguing about religion. The project was intentionally constrained to 3 pages, 2 characters, and 1 location.

OK, at this point, cinematic confusion should be setting in. But, now is when it gets really weird…

8-Ball

8 Ball MovieIn 2012, the short film 8-Ball was released in Argentina. Having nothing to do with billiards, the movie is about a man having a personal crisis who seeks solitude in a park, when a passing stranger named 8-Ball takes an unwelcome interest in him. The movie won a host of awards throughout the UK. Apparently, no one thought to question the inanity of the title.

8-Ball

8 Ball MovieFinally, there is the 2013 full-length Finnish crime film 8-Ball. It is about a single mother who, having just been released from prison, is trying to start her life anew. The return of her former boyfriend stirs up a past she preferred to leave behind. I don’t know why it’s called 8-Ball, but I’ll cut the director Aku Louhimies a little slack, since its original title is 8-Pallo.

8 Ball

8 Ball (2020)Update: since publishing this post in 2014, I have discovered one more 8 Ball movie. John T. Lee directs, produces, and stars in this short film of indeterminate length, created in 2020. But, there is so little online information available about this film that I can’t even guarantee it’s an actual billiards movie. There is no readily findable synopsis, review, festival listing, or press coverage that explains the plot; no confirmed streaming or public screening page; no interviews with Lee, the producers, or the cast; and no secondary database entry. Wanted! If you know anything about this movie, please let me know.

So, the next time you’re thinking about making a film about billiards (or not about billiards for that matter), heed this advice:  There’s still an opportunity to cash in on the 5-Ball or 13-Ball. Just stay away from (un)lucky number 8.

Second Chance (in production)

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Editor’s Note:  Since my original posting, this movie has been released on DVD.  For a complete review of Second Chance, please visit my blog post here.

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More than two million Taiwanese, nearly 10% of the population, play billiards. Pool is now the second-most-popular sport in Taiwan next to baseball. Today, in the World Pool-Billiard Association rankings, four of the top 10 women, and one of the top 10 men, are Taiwanese. This all begs a fundamental question: When will we see a full-length billiards movie from Taiwan? [See Note 1]

Second ChanceIt turns out such a movie exists, although the details about the film are still rather fuzzy. Produced by Double Edge Entertainment, [UPDATE: the movie is called Second Chance.] This title replaces the earlier reported title, Nine Ball, by the publication Taiwan Cinema 2014, as well as the former working title, A Girl Got Her Cue, which appeared on the Double Edge Entertainment website. The 100-minute film is directed by Wen-Yen Kung.

The movie may still be in production, as the Double Edge website suggests, or may have been completed this year, as the Taiwan Cinema guide suggests. IMDB unfortunately is no help. It has no mention of Nine Ball or A Girl Got Her Cue. [UPDATE:  under the name Second Chance, the movie is now expected to premiere in Taiwan theaters on November 7, 2014.]

Fortunately, there does seem to be some consensus around the plot of the movie. The story focuses on Shine, a beautiful girl, who recently lost her parents in a car accident. Faced with the likelihood that she will be sent to a foster home, Shine is adopted by her uncle, Feng, a former billiards player who she does not know and who has a taste for gambling, drinking, and smoking. Billiards becomes the unlikely, yet critical, connection point for Shine and Feng, who ultimately forge a family bond through pool-playing.

Second ChanceThese scant details are all I’ve been able to uncover about the film, so readers, please share anything you hear about the movie. Given Double Edge Entertainment is a recognized distributor of films (e.g., Killing Them Softly; The Grey; Killer Elite) in Taiwan, I’m hopeful this film will become available for viewing soon. [Update:  the accompanying “9-Ball” music video shows some footage from the film.]

[Note 1: Nine Ball may be the first full-length billiards movie from Taiwan, but it is not Taiwan’s first show about billiards. That award goes to Taiwanese billiards television series Nine-Ball from 2005. Confused yet?]

Kiss Shot (and Oscar)

As I watched the 86th Academy Awards on Monday, I kept thinking what it must have been like when The Color of Money was nominated for four awards, including Paul Newman winning the Best Actor award, in 1987.  Just imagine seeing those billiards clips shown on the big screen at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion and being broadcast to 39 million viewers simultaneously.

Billiards movie

Paul Newman accepts the Best Actor Oscar for “The Color of Money”

But, in general, Oscar has not been kind to billiards movies.  More pointedly, most billiards movies have not come close to Oscar’s standards.   Aside from The Color of Money, the only other obvious exception is The Hustler, which received nine Oscar nominations in 1962, including wins for Art-Set Direction and for Cinematography.

That’s not to say, however, that billiards movies have not starred Oscar nominees and winners, past and future alike.  For example, Forest Whitaker played the hustler Amos in The Color of Money – 20 years before he earned his Oscar for The Last King of Scotland.  And Tom Cruise has racked up three Oscar nominations (Born on the 4th of July, 1989; Jerry Maguire, 1996; and Magnolia, 1999) since playing Vince in The Color of Money. The 2002 film Poolhall Junkies featured two past Oscar winners:  Christopher Walken (The Deer Hunter, 1978) and Rod Steiger (In the Heat of the Night, 1968).  The Baltimore Bullet, a should-have-been-better 1980 billiards film, features a trinity of Oscar notables, including past Oscar nominee Omar Sharif (Lawrence of Arabia, 1962), past Oscar winner Ronee Blakley (Nashville, 1975), and future Oscar winner James Coburn (Affliction, 1997). The little-known 2007 billiards film Turn the River has an Oscar nominee, Rip Torn (Cross Creek, 2003), in a supporting role.

It’s not just actors.  Six-time Oscar-nominated director Peter Weir (Dead Poets Society; The Truman Show; etc) started his film career making shorts, including The Billiard Room in 1972.  And the prolific, legendary director Martin Scorsese, who was the genius behind The Color of Money, followed that film with eight Oscar nominations, including a 2007 Best Director win for The Departed.

Kiss Shot billiards movieYet, for true Oscar ubiquity, all of these celebrities live in the shadow of Whoopi Goldberg, an omnipresent Oscar persona if there ever was one.  Ms. Goldberg was nominated for a Best Actress Oscar for The Color Purple (1985).  She won the Supporting Actress award for her role in Ghost (1990).  Of course, she hosted the Academy Award ceremony four times (1994, 1996, 1999, and 2002). She even introduced the 75th tribute to The Wizard of Oz in this past Monday’s awards ceremony, while flaunting her red ruby slippers.

This is why it’s fascinating to then consider that Ms. Goldberg also starred in the 1989, made-for-television billiards flop Kiss Shot.  She is the perfect proof that (a) starring in a billiards movie doesn’t permanently taint one’s Oscar reputation; and (b) mixing that Oscar mojo with a piss-poor movie doesn’t exactly make for cinematic greatness.  (Just ask Robert DeNiro, right?)

Kiss Shot billiards movieKiss Shot stars Ms. Goldberg as Sarah Collins, a witty, warm-hearted, single parent who is trying to keep a roof over the head, and the braces on the mouth, of her 13-year-old daughter.  When she loses her job at Dunsley Electronics, she must figure out how to raise $3000 in four months or the bank will take her house and put her on the street.  Unable to raise the money through personal connections, she decides to raise the money through pool (9-ball, specifically).  In making this decision, Sarah Collins joins a long list of female protagonists in billiards movies who hustle for noble intentions, unlike their male counterparts, who hustle largely out of greed and ego.  (See my earlier post “Battle of the Sexes in Billiards Movies” for more on this theory.)

Initially, she is staked by her friend Billy, manager of Mr. B’s Billiards.  (Interestingly, Billy is played by Teddy Wilson, who one year later appeared in Quantum Leap in the horrible billiards episode “Pool Hall Blues.”)   So she may raise money faster, Billy pairs her with professional stakehorse Max Fleischer (Hill Street Blues Golden Globe winner Dennis Franz).

This plan seems to work well initially, as she moves from one stereotypical pool hall to the next, first playing the “hard hats, beer and beef jerky crowd,” then a country-and-western crowd, then a group of bikers (who might have been extras from either The Warriors or a Village People video), then some punk rockers, and finally, the black patrons of a jazz bar. But, the plan ultimately unravels when she meets billiards playboy Kevin Merrick.  (Interestingly, Kevin is played by Dorian Harewood, who not only shot pool on the short-lived billiards game show Ballbreakers, but also played the role of Eightball in Stanley Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket.)

Kiss ShotAt this point, turn on the late-80s synthesizers and pour on the Velveeta, for Kiss Shot becomes annoyingly hokey, more concerned with an emerging love triangle than the billiards triangle.  Fast forward.  Eventually, Sarah loses her hard-won earnings, forcing her to enter the Golden Gate Open 9-Ball Championship with the winner-takes-all $10,000 prize.  We’re treated to a lot of pool playing during these scenes, but the kiss shots with the 9-ball sitting on the lip of the pocket get old quickly.  Though Ms. Goldberg is not shown making most her shots, there were two incredible exceptions – a masse shot and a jump shot – that suggested her coach had elicited some real billiards talent from her.  (Credit goes to BCA Master Instructor Jerry Briesath, who was the movie’s technical advisor.)

The ending is so predictable…that director Jerry London chose not even to show it.  One minute, she’s battling Kevin in the final 9-ball match, and the next minute, she’s showering the bank with rolls of money as she reclaims the loan on her house.

Dennis Franz delivers a great line in the movie when he tells Sarah not to pull back in a match: “You got this guy in the toilet, and then you let him crawl out.”  The same almost happened with Ms. Goldberg in Kiss Shot.  This movie could have put her career in the toilet. Fortunately for all of us, she crawled out.

Kiss Shot is widely available to rent or buy online.

Top 10 Baddies of Billiards Movies

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After writing my previous post about “my friend Harvey” from The Honeymooners episode “The Bensonhurst Bomber,” I started thinking further about the role intimidation plays in billiards.

Thorsten "The Hitman" Hohmann

Thorsten “The Hitman” Hohmann

Certainly, a number of prominent players today have assumed nicknames that are intended to psych out their opponent to some degree.  Consider:  Thorsten “The Hitman” Hohmann, Tony “Silent Assassin” Robles, Evgeny “Assassin” Stalev, Allison “Duchess of Doom” Fisher, Florian “Venom” Kohler, and of course, Jeanette “Black Widow” Lee, who would “eat people alive” when she got to the table.

But, in billiards movies and television, intimidation and fearmongering extends well beyond violent monikers.  On and off the table, the villains of billiards pop culture are known to do everything from bullyragging and browbeating to terrorizing and murdering.  It is in their honor then that I announce the TOP 10 BILLIARDS BADDIES OF ALL TIME (and sorry, but my friend Harvey did not make the cut).  Let the countdown begin:

Billiard Baddies10.  Third Eye Ryu.  In the 1972 pinky violence film Wandering Ginza Butterfly, the recently-paroled Nami must use her billiards skills to prevent the local yakuza from taking over a bar.  The fate of the bar lies in a game of three-cushion billiards that Nami must play against the yakuza’s junkie henchman, Third Eye Ryu.  Behind mirrored glasses, the stone-faced pool shark is a formidable opponent who exudes cold evil.

Billiard Baddies9.  Frosty (Richard Roundtree). The song “The Baron” is not the only memorable remainder of the 1984 made-for-TV movie The Baron and the Kid.  To that list, we should also add the formidable, impeccably dressed in white, Southern hustler Frosty, who doesn’t like to lose in pool. He proves particularly adept at intimidation when he removes his jacket, showing a holstered gun, and when he corrals his opponents with his posse of rednecks. Roundtree always was a “bad mother…”  I’ll shut my mouth.

Billiard Baddies8.  Caller (Neville Stevenson). If looks could kill, then Caller, the pierced, dreadlocked, bare-chested eight-ball opponent from the 2001 New Zealand film Stickmen, would be like walking genocide. Fortunately, his opponent Wayne is too blitzed out of his mind to notice and handily runs the table “drunken master” style on Caller before he can make a shot.

 

Billiard Baddies7.  Eddie Davies (J.W. Smith).  “Pool Hall Blues – September 4, 1954,” from the second season of Quantum Leap, is an insulting chapter of billiards television history.  But, as far as reprobates go, Eddie Davies, the local loan shark, is high on the list.  His scare tactics include sleazing all over the pool hall proprietor’s daughter, beating up an old man, and – far worse – directing his goon to snap in half the prized cue stick of Charlie “Black Magic” Walters.

Billiard Baddies6.  8-Ball (Jeff Hagees).  OK, I admit it, this villain has nothing to do with movies, but Marvel Comics’ misfit is too perfect not to include in this list.  From his profile: “8-Ball wielded a pool cue specially designed to magnify any force applied to it to more than a thousand-fold and transmit that force at anything it struck. He also carried a variety of pool balls for throwing, some designed to act as grenades. He traveled aboard a giant hovering pool ball.”

Billiard Baddies5.  Joe (Chazz Palminteri).  Though Joe doesn’t actually play pool in the 2002 film Poolhall Junkies, he is every bit hustler-gangster-thug, starting with the fact he ruins Johnny’s dream of playing pro billiards by throwing out the invitation.  But, that’s tiddlywinks compared to his later nefarious acts, including breaking Johnny’s finger, beating up Johnny’s brother, and trying to destroy Johnny’s reputation.  Bad-ass quote:  “Take that you motherless motherfu**ers.”

Billiard Baddies4.  Natasha (Rebecca Downs).  In the 1998 “Pool Sharks” episode of Monsters, we’re first introduced to Natasha as just another buxom, black-clad, pale-skinned vamp with a flirtatious mien and a tendency to be forward with men by sucking their bleeding finger wounds.  (And if you’ve seen From Dusk Till Dawn, you’re correctly thinking, “This can’t be good.”) Sure enough, in time, Natasha bears her fangs and the friendly game of 50-point straight pool turns into a death match.

Billiard Baddies3. “Cue Ball” Carl Bridges (Ving Rhames).  Ving Rhames trades in the “pliers and blowtorch” that made him famous in Pulp Fiction for a pimped out wardrobe, 8-ball cane, stogie and an appetite for chicken feet in the 2005 movie Shooting Gallery.  The plot may be ludicrous, but local gangster Cue Ball Carl not only manages a city-wide street team of pool hustlers, but also dabbles in guns, drug-running and violence.

Billiard Baddies2.  Joey (Kurt Hanover).  So sinister he’s almost cartoonish, Joey is the lying, cheating, back-stabbing, thieving, scoundrel of the 2012 film 9-Ball.   Responsible for the care of his niece Gail since her father died, Joey exploits her billiards talents to make money for himself.   When that starts to unravel, he threatens her to stop watching instructional pool videos (!!), and in time, steals from her and brutally beats her.  Oh, and if that weren’t enough he – [SPOILER ALERT!] –  also killed his brother (i.e. Gail’s father) in a fit of jealousy.

Billiard Baddies1.  Bert Gordon (George C. Scott).  Clearly, there are rogues on this list who have personally committed more heinous acts, but I still give the Billiards Brute top spot to Bert Gordon, the unscrupulous, vicious, milk-drinking, mastermind of the 1961 movie The Hustler.  Gordon never pulls the trigger, but he pulls all the strings, manipulating “Fast” Eddie, destroying his character and confidence (“Eddie, you’re a born loser”), and ultimately, causing his girlfriend Sarah to kill herself, even if it were Eddie and Bert who “really stuck the knife in her.”

So, there’s my list.  Was it unfair of me to omit Baisez, the macho billiards-playing vampire from The Understudy: Graveyard Shift 2?  Or, what about Topdog, the goon from Hard Knuckle who runs the pool hall where game losers must chop off their own fingers.  These were all tough choices.  Let me know the choices you would have made and share your comments.